(6) children
Xiaolei lost mine at home, it was recommended by a woman over to the babysitter, child care for mine. Nanny is a semi-old woman. With about 50 years old, according to her, in the past she had been maid in a warlord belongings, often showing off her excessive generosity of this people live, what a concubine to send her any. Now out of work, is indeed a last resort. From her behavior, she is a rough warlord’s home to make up girl. We gave her something small, that is to take care of take care of Xiao-lei. One day, Lanying for something, get something back in working hours, the door into the house, see the nurse on milk drinking Xiaolei, see Lanying suddenly came back, she was stunned. Lanying not blame her, she just took a few days she quit.
this, found Xiaolei malnutrition. In mid-September, boats and Xiaolei also infected with whooping cough, cough was particularly severe. Xiaolei are lost. Lanying one person tends the two children, really make life difficult for her. I can only come back on Sundays, to do little things.
our extremely busy time, because troops are to connect to host military delegations of Indonesia and Algeria, we are engaged in intense preparations, the above will call for elsewhere, and even the million sub-Mei Yu and I can not go home to Tianjin meeting. September 28, Xiaolei the disease still no good. National Day, October 6th, we began a period of 8 days of \October 27, Lanying out only 5 yuan deposits, to buy cloth for me to do a piece cotton-padded clothes. At the end, I went to a meeting scheduled Xing, back and forth for 10 days. Hou Hsiao-chang and came back with the Assistant to the working group of units under inspection. November 24th, Tianjin, it began to snow, weather is cold, I think Lanying with children, this winter is very hard. Sure enough, I participated in the Working Group in an inspection unit 3 squadron, the 29 November afternoon, Lanying called to say, Xiaolei got pneumonia, had been hospitalized a few days. It said the doctor, his illness a lot, anemia, rickets, etc., do not open their eyes a few days. Lanying waited at the hospital a few days and nights do not exist. After listening to the news can not wait to fly back to Tianjin, see Xiaolei, sharing what Lanying task. But can not go back, the working group pressure on his shoulders, asked me to chair the meeting, so I can not have the slightest regard to their own ideas. Wait for tomorrow, tomorrow is Sunday, I hope a day off.
Here is the diary fragments during the time the Heartbreakers:
11 30: \lost a lot. 2 Matt, no spirit. Lanying too tired, I changed back to her rest. night, I keep in Xiaolei bed. He slept very well today. wards are small pneumonia patients at two gay men in exchange for a child her mother’s class, only my poor Lanying, keep a person in here so many days, no one came for her. the whole room was filled with anxiety. In 10000 lights of the city, at the moment how many restless heart care here ah! \United Kingdom back rest, otherwise, she can not insist. enchant her afternoon I came back, keep me in the hospital to 5:30 left. Xiaolei’s illness has given us a great lesson, so he was discharged from hospital, many To re-arrange things so that he can grow up healthily. because the working group has just started, so Lanying came, I had to return to Yangcun. \Battalion 1 Squadron checks a day’s work. \days, without rest, open forum ,······\br> 12 14: \But the day will be opened today, can not leave early. Xiaolei not discharged, and repeatedly, Lanying keep up in the hospital for 18 days. the day will not be able to rest at night. Today, I changed her down to take her home rest. night, I keep a night in the hospital, Xiaolei slept well, that is, asthma, coughing slightly. occasionally wake up once, looked at me with glazed eyes. boy! you know? to Your mother worked hard to stay with you has been here 18 days and nights, she Zhengou tired of. \so Xiaolei finished drugs, medical check completed room, waited a few minutes to leave the hospital until 10. home, I want to Lanying more rest for a while, how Lanying not break. afternoon I went to observe a few hours, Xiaolei a lot better today. Lanying night I do not keep a good rest last night, Xiaolei on the night did not wake up. It appears, Xiaolei can be released from the hospital, we put the thermos and so he have brought it home. evening, I returned to Yangcun, as was also waiting for me. \completely thrown aside, this is regardless of the political sector, and they simply sent a work team ,······\group, I just want to pick it up operations, but also to die ,······\The disease reappeared, and consecutive fever, burning for two days, all at 40 degrees. I consult the ministers, the on Ben Tianjin away. rushed to the hospital, Xiaolei burning still not back, head wearing infusion needles, green purple violet, full of eye of a needle, her eyes glazed. I took his hands, he recognized me, kept looking at me. he was breathing. face as swollen, does not see the thin, but who has skinny was. watching the child, I really feel sad, ah a nice child! affected by torture. At night, he still did not return fire. I was at his bedside all night long, watched him, and observing him, watching his every move. \eat it wearing two lips always seemed to dry very. From time to time to his lips little water. He is very smart, knows many things, although it can not speak, he shook his head, or do not refuse to represent. afternoon they made the terrible burning up. His breathing more difficult up, throat like a lot of phlegm, cough it out. called the doctor, the doctor said do anything. I Lanying then observe the night. \>
12 22: \. his eyes hair straight, I shake his hand before his eyes, he remained motionless. I am nervous. hurried call to the doctor. After a while tense rescue, around 8 in the evening, before he came detente. 2 it can do is to use the. but still out of breath. his eyes closed, full breath of the night.
we looked haggard eyes the night. Today, a child died the next bed, the same condition and Xiaolei. When the nurse to clean up his bed, our hearts are tightened. \I see that he was not sleeping, but exhausted. Weibi his eyes, but not sleep, is not even the power of the eyes.
today, feed him milk, noodles can eat , a spoonful of spoon feeding in, he can eat. give him the most pain of needle bar, he did not move a muscle. he had no power. I and Lanying are very tight, we have been holding his hand. < br>
12 thirty in his hand and gradually lower the temperature down. I cry out to doctors, some doctors came up. I hold Xiaolei hair cool hand, watching the eyes of doctors, tried hard to seek help from them. I saw no hope from them, the children are not saved. but I still a chance to relax, have been urging doctors to use a variety of emergency medicine.
Xiaolei hand more and more cold, breathe more slowly.
13 点 10 points, he finally stopped breathing, leave us, left the good he did not see the world.
Lanying hugged him, crying again. kids! our good boy ah!
I propped up the Lanying, nurse the children taken away from Lanying hands. I walked into a doctor leaning Lanying office.
she tears up. I gave them call the factory director Zhang. He answered the phone, ‘ah’ a cry, the half-day did not speak, and finally said, I’ll come. He soon came to the hospital, also helped comfort Lanying, we helped her with the back.
who I called a funeral parlor, pick a good small coffin with tears in his usual favorite of a cotton jacket for him to wear, my tears dripping on the coat, also drops in my heart. workers placed him in a small coffin, a good four sides with nails, will Xiaolei taken away with a tricycle . I looked at from the side of the road tricycle climb a small slope, over the bridge, has been towards the west, and I stood there motionless, looking for a long time, no shadow, and I’m still looking. brains just feel blank. evening, some friends who heard about the factory Lanying comfort us.
Oh! child, you are actually a very simple disease, but lived for 26 days in the hospital, we finally does not cure your disease. in accordance with the Chinese, in this world, you only live a short 15 months the whole, is really too short. Our world is okay! you born in the great, great age, but you just know something was in when we left.
Your mother and I have been thinking about all kinds of things for you, to the people you train to become a useful person . you are intelligent and gifted, grow better, but now all this is completely utopian. You will no longer appear cute smile face, leaving only the memory of the infinite in our grief. \> Dec. 24: \children, Xiaolei, he can not come back.
we do not want to eat one day, if not remember even come to eat. \these days, in addition to control my own, I would also like to keep comfort Lanying, from great sadness to her freed, but this is no small task ah! she is difficult to restrain.
night I am back to troops, because there I lead a working group under the leadership of the work no one. Yangcun train passing, to the car, I remembered I have to get off, I was almost forced to close open the conductor’s hand, force jumped out of. \point more, to reach home.
Lanying no mood to settle down, from time to time to sigh a long-winded, I advise also invalid, had to let her vent, a long time, they come with another topic diverge. father is not easy, I in addition to their own comfort, but also consoled his mother. \\is thought of Xiaolei, he more than good! I had told him the story, he can understand, although he could not speak, but he has his way of expression, always with a nod or a smile to answer, mentioned in the story who have difficulty with, he will be exposed anxious eyes to, how compassionate he is ah!
1964 年 1 17: \, Muzizhiqing This is natural. but it should make her strong. tomorrow, rest, go back to a good talk with her.
Peng Lifu today also received a letter from the uncle, they comfort us, and to Chinese New Year we must go to Beijing to their home. \Once home, already late, Lanying and the boats were still eating. Lanying original factory is engaged in socialist education, meetings have been open until 9 pm only scattered.
night, we talked a lot, Her mood is not good. Xiaolei impression in her thoughts too deep. In fact, do not be the distressed father, but people have died, grief all day, what is the use even if it only broke his own body. \
2 12: \, aunt and uncle at home only at home, Mei Ying. they would have given us a room ready, and raised the stove. This is a warm and sincere family. evening, people came back, we sat together to eat a Cotton rich dinner. \Although only a few pages of text, but it dragged on for a whole year of time to finish. When first written, first look diary, read a few pages to watch anymore, stopped a few months, just wrote a few words of the outline. I had to write other sections, other sections are now finished, and only come back to write this paragraph. It costs nearly in January this much time, sometimes only one day to write a few words, because I can not close the text is difficult to suppress pain, which is suffocating the blood and tears. Xiaolei’s death, should reflect many places.
the shackles of a large environment may become a man, \Some people say in the leadership of it? Watch Lanying so difficult,damier neverfull gm, the working group would not allow Xie Feng Zhang put up, there is no one to be able to help him? I thought of the newspaper to promote the \The results came back, his wife dead on the kang. In recognition of superior and newspapers this matter vigorously.
I too lack of fighting spirit, always meekly accept such an unreasonable arrangement, if I actively seek, to struggle, maybe not such a result. Maybe someone will agree to let me go home to take care of children and Lanying, although it will have been a lot of criticism. Hospital errors. Previous day a child dies, we do not alert and Xiaolei has passed away, the hospital pediatrician immediately shut down all small patients were discharged or transferred. \Vaguely felt This is a hospital accident was disclosed. I have also thought about a recovery in the end. But think back, no matter what the results are inserted knife in our hearts, because we can not change the fact that children can no longer revive the. Can not do that, other things, what significance does.
1976 earthquake in Tangshan, thereby damaging the Tianjin Public Security Hospital, Taian Road, where the collapse was in ruins. However, soon after, Taian Road, reconstruction, redevelopment of the hospital also moved out, the site has gone, gone, without leaving the slightest trace, but every time I read the Taian Road, we still feel there is an invisible sword stabbed me in pain is difficult forbearance. This chapter postscript chapter in November 25, 2001 the closing day of the ninth National Games began to write. Too difficult to write this chapter, emotional ups and downs too, listen to me talk about some fragments Lanying, also cried. So write the stop, then start the same time I had to write another \This is my memoirs of the most difficult chapter, also dragged the longest chapter, until the end of November 2002 that a basic finish, took a full 1 year.